Dark Energy Isn’t

Professor Imous Crank was giving a talk on his latest unpublished paper.  It was of course fully available on his Universe City website but no reputable journal would publish it.  Even the Journal of Irreproducable Results wouldn’t.  But that didn’t stop him from giving his talk.  The lecture hall was nearly empty and those that were there were non-human visitors in with amazing good bioengineered avatars.  The aliens were amazed that Prof. Crank hadn’t actually been able to convince some of his colleagues.  They needn’t have been.  The man had lived up to his name in his dotage.  He had too many ideas that had been proven to be so far-fetched that even his own former students had given up on him.

“So, from this equation we can see that space-time will expand due to the prior expansion of the non-gravitationally bound non-local super-groups exhibiting linear frame dragging from the original vector bosons, gluons, created in the first quintillionth of a second of the Big Bang.  One can think of it as simply following Newton’s second law, this created the inflation of the early universe but that doesn’t explain the acceleration of the expansion we have labeled “Dark Energy” for want of a better or more accurate name.  That comes about due to frame dragging from the later luminous vector bosons.  In other words, as this equation shows, the expansion of the universe is being accelerated by photons and gravitons in the form of intergalactic light and gravitational waves and the universe simply has to make more room so that they can go on forever on their massless journey in the vain hope of reaching the end of the universe… and edge that like Tantalus’s grapes, forever receed.”

It was so simple… yet… physicists would never accept it… knowing it was just another Crank idea.

 

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